Even as an extrovert I am extremely introspective, I am constantly searching my heart, analyzing my true motives, and trying to sort out my personality. (maybe that's one of the reasons I'm a psych major!)
It's probably no surprise to anyone when I say I have an extreme personality; everything I do is with my full heart and then some.
I choose to work in fast paced, high stress environments (like an ER or the most risky and dangerous unit in the psych ward).
When I smoked, my starting point was half a pack a day. (Apparently that's not entirely normal)
A night out drinking was never successful unless I was completely hammered and peeing in a strange, public location. (I have marked my territory in some pretttttyy cool places)
I will stop at nothing unless my grades are as perfect as I can make them.
My loyalty doesn't stop when a friend dies over six years ago- I still think about her often and make sure that her life is always excessively celebrated on her death day.
My method of communication is bold, brutally honest (with love) and basically loud.
Exercise bores me unless it involves a boxing ring and a full grown man sparing with me.
Thank God I never did drugs because I would definitely be in jail!
Even as a mascot in high school I rigged my suit with a camel back so I could be constantly hydrating myself so I could dance the entire football games without a break. (most mascots over-heat in 20-30 minutes and its a rule that you stop and rest or else your body can't keep up). I had a "never stop moving policy" whenever I was in the suit- so I was never still for a single moment. There were at least three occasions that I pushed myself to a near heat stroke and ended up passing out from over exertion- and yet the next day I would be up and performing at the same level.
I live with chronic pain (from hurting myself in sports and not stopping when my body was shouting at me with warnings) and I still live going 100mph. I only stop when I literally can't get out of bed because the pain is too severe.
My daily schedule is so jammed pack that hanging out with me is like scheduling a drs. appointment.
I could go on- but its probably fair to say I've made my point.
Why am I sharing this with you? Good question!!! So happy you asked!!
I was sitting in my garage just thinking about both the many problems this has caused and can cause in my daily life but also the benefits. There are so many positive things that can come from having a personality like mine.
But mostly- the real question - is how can I harness my energy and passion to serve
GODS kingdom?
I would love thoughts and input on this for sure-
I've noticed that the times in my life when I am walking with God and hearing his voice that he quickly takes the reigns and aims my 'loose cannon' personality to do some serious work for HIS glory. But I usually get reckless and over excited and pull back control- and when that doesn't satisfy my ever craving for life and fulfillment I channel it to worldly passions and pursuits.
So- I'm coming to you guys with my flaws and asking for help. How do I stay consistent with yielding control to our Father?
Please, as my community- will you come along side me and help me keep my extremes focused on Christ and His passions?
