Now What?

I'm laying on the cold hard ground, rock bottom I think its called. As my consciousness runs away from me I know I am in trouble, that I am dying, that I need help. As my tired eyes close and my abused heart beats one last time, I catch a glimpse of my father rushing to my aid.

My dad is a doctor- some say the designer and creator of life. He had never been that to me. But when I awake, I hurt. In my dazed state and confusion Abba sat next to me and explained what happened. I had made a stupid choices and despite His warnings had gone to far. He stepped in at the last second, when my heart was giving out and he brought me back- but the internal damage had been substantial and several hours of emergency surgery was necessary to save my life. A lot of me was removed, most of me actually, but it was the only way I could have a new life. He looked me in the eyes and gently explained to me that everything was going to hurt for awhile, but that was apart of the healing process.

He would hold my hand through every single step.

I had to relearn how to think, how to chose my words, how to sit up, how to breathe. He gave me a new community to help with the physical therapy.

Now I can sit up all by myself and the stitches only hurt when I bump them. I'm ready to start walking. But where do I walk to? I feel like my dad is still there, but there are other people for Him to save. Where do I go now? How do I keep learning and growing?

Abba saved my life...but now I have to live it... and I'm not quite sure how to do that.

He wrote me a love letter to help guide me- but for some reason I have a hard time understanding it.