Today is a good day. The other days weren't as awesome this week.
Here was my realization. [And this is how I think... so it probably won't make any sense? You ready?! Awesome!]
To live in My Presence consistently, you must expose and expel your rebellious tendencies. When something interferes with your plans or desires, you tend to resent the interference. Try to become aware of each resentment, however petty it may seem. Don’t push those unpleasant feelings down; instead, let them come to the surface where you can deal with them. Ask My Spirit to increase
Being a christian is difficult because of the whole faith thing. There is the Bible, but everyday decisions can be difficult.
I've lived most of my life in sin and basically the equivalent of ramming myself head first into a pole. I'm super good at it! I am competent at living worldly.
I'm no so competent with walking with Christ. That's scary.
I found myself getting frustrated that I was in pain and that dying to the flesh wasn't this easy glamorous transition.
If following Christ was the right thing then why did it sting so much?
Shouldn't I be over everything already?
Hm. Let me see... I spent years slamming myself into the 'pole' and now that it's removed I find myself actually moving forward in life. But it hurts- not because God removed the pole (as I sometimes like to attribute the pain to) but because I battered myself up and need to recover.
There is also an element of fear. I'm used to running until...BAM! I'm on my back- oh well! At least I can get up again and do it again. It's like a safety net in a way. Does that make sense? (Probably not the healthiest way to approach life- but it worked for me)
But now I'm not greeted with that familiar slam.. now I actually have to walk with the Lord in faith and oftentimes uncertainty.
I'm out of my element.
Cool! Day 62 and I'm just starting to take little baby wobbly steps forward.
The pole can't be my 'safety' net- this time it needs to be God.
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